On walking into church in the middle of your own hymn

A few months ago, my hymn In Love Christ Shed His Tears was published in the Winter 2014 issue of Lutheran Forum. Now it is Lent, and the music director at the church I am a member at, Holy Cross (LCMS), decided to make the hymn the theme hymn for Lent. It was used on Ash Wednesday and again this morning, so I'm interested in seeing just how many services it is going to show up in throughout Lent as the theme hymn. This is very exciting for me, but there has been a humorous aspect to it as well.

Triptych

I.

I say I want to know;

my idol, pride, beckons;

but knowing means death.

When deeds are my greatest wisdom,

I am an actor seeking reality

I say I want to know.

I hunt after myself

to know where to direct my aim,

but knowing means death.

Ambition consumes the fruit

of my potential

I say I want to know.

I realize my potential

and know the harvest banquet of myself,

but knowing means death.

I feast on my realized self,

and taste the achievement

I say I want to know.

I strip my drying bones clean

to nourish the renown I know,

but knowing means death.

Broken bones show experience

of wounds from brave deeds

I say I want to know.

What lasts of these brave deeds?

A crippled skeleton knows,

and knowing means death.

I want to know myself,

and experience my merit.

I say I want to know,

but knowing means death.

II.

Now I have eyes to see

that the mirror shows my dry bones,

as I meet the one who kills and makes alive.

He holds the mirror and shoves

eyeballs into my vacant skull so

now I have eyes to see.

His commands tell me to stand, and how,

but I lack muscles to raise myself

as I meet the one who kills and makes alive.

I cannot stand to honor my Judge, yet

I see Him bow to judgment

now I have eyes to see.

The Judge strikes my crimes from the record

while He is stricken to death

as I meet the one who kills and makes alive.

He was raised up in death,

and I see Him raised up to life

now I have eyes to see.

His now scarred hands do what I cannot

and raise me up to His side

as I meet the one who kills and makes alive.

From His side flow blood and water

as I see Him give me His own body

now I have eyes to see.

Given life in the water,

I am saved to have breath

as I meet the one who kills and makes alive.

He gives me ears to hear

the Word that creates life.

Now I have ears to hear

the One who kills and makes alive.

III.

He loves to tell me,

and, rather than be heard,

now I want to listen.

He has claimed me as His treasured possession

by giving me to bear His name

He loves to tell me

“To be owned an object of affection is better,”

says the widow to me

now I want to listen.

He has adopted me as His child

and bathes and dresses me in forgiveness

He loves to tell me.

“Being a dependent is better,”

says the orphan to me

now I want to listen.

He is proud to identify the resemblance:

“You surely look like my Son,”

He loves to tell me.

The shamed fear being accused and hide,

but identify themselves when they recognize

now I want to listen.

He wants to listen to me,

and give me the answer of “Yes”

He loves to tell me.

The muted humble ask again

for aid I past deafly rejected, yet

now I want to listen.

“I free you from your solitary coffinment

and give you Myself and others to love and serve.”

He tells me in love,

and now I want to listen.

[2013]